Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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