a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
