We're like a lot better than the average bears
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
