the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
