I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
