New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
