I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
