Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
