Little spoons don't ask big questions
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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