I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
