so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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