so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
