normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
