i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
