how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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