She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
