yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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