You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
