Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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