I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
