But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
