apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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