Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My cat gives me a boner
you win again, gameday.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
