You're completely useless in the revolution.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I skipped work to stalk him.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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