Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
