covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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