so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
