when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
