So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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