This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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