We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
