My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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