my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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