I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I got inside last night via doggy door
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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