just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
