If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize