Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
