Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
