you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
