dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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