Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
