i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Actions speak louder than pants.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
