Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
