Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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