one two three fourrrrnication!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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