The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
