So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
