hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
