Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
