My entire life is one complicated drinking game
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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