And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
