we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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