Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
