never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
This toilet bowl is my home.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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