We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
