Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
